Family man

Rory has two teeth. Therefore he is a grump perpetually upset about how sore his tongue is from licking his two new teeth and from the bone growth in his jaw. His teeth are razor sharp, not an actual razor but if he bites down hard, There will be Blood. We have our home and our one door frame from which to hang his jumper; its the bathroom door so you can’t really utilize the room if your shy. We have dishes in the sink, they are a collection of what we have cooked and drank since Sunday, It is now Thursday. We have carpet floors covered in drool, hair, coffee and tea spills, books and jacket covers, clean clothes, dirty clothes, burp rags and swaddles. Our house isn’t dirty despite what you might think, or what you have just read, even if you ask malia; our house isn’t dirty. I wouldn’t lick the floors, nor would I serve spaghetti upon them. But the 5 second rule is on hiatus until we sweep, mop, vacuum. 

Our house is lived in the blankets are there to be used by anyone who is cold because the fire isn’t supposed to be on, so unless we are baking the house is a balmy high of 60 on a good day. Propane is expensive and as it is also used to heat the water we try to use the heat sparingly to keep our bills at a manageable level. Socks are an everyday requirement even if your desired footwear is flip flops otherwise known as thongs to those of us who remember. A flannel or a sweatshirt is often thrown over whatever you are wearing at the moment because there is no reason to get drool on the clothes you want to wear in public and also because it gives you another barrier against the cold. Rory sleeps in a minimum of two layers with socks, two swaddles and either rapped in a blanket or if in our bed half under the covers for warmth just to make sure that he doesn’t get cold in the night. If either malia or myself gets the opportunity for a shower we make sure to leave the bathroom door open so that any heat that escapes, can at least enter into the house. This means that the kitchen fan is always running to try and suck some of the moisture out of the air so that we don’t have mold issues during the winter.

Rory wakes up at 5 most days and if we are quick we can trick him into at least another hour or two of sleep, but sometimes we aren’t and that means that he gets to play with his stuffed donkey our landlords got him for christmas. It is a strange scene to wake up to having your hair pulled or getting slapped in the face by a sopping wet donkey tail. Hair pulling is rude, but slobber in the morning is just unappreciable. The sheets are always askew as one of us is invariably climbing in and out of bed every few hours. There is an exercise ball in the living room (rachel’s favorite chair in the house) if only it were there for exercise. When Rory wakes up in the night to be comforted because of a bad dream or because a tooth is sore, as the waking parent you then scoop him up and take him in your arms to the green ball. There you snuggle and bounce, gently like the bobbing of a boat on water, this will lull him back to sleep and he can be re-swaddled and placed between Malia and I in our bed. The damage however has already been done. This ball is cold and I for one never sleep in pants so as I tiredly carry my son into the living room I have the horrid anticipation of feeling that cold ball on my thighs. Bouncing up and down, cold night air all around in a matter of moments you are chilled to the core. On bad nights the second you fall asleep again and think you might be warm Rory will wake up again.

This is our life. A baby hammock hanging in the living room, more expensive than both our mattress and bed frame. For a baby who spends most nights in bed with us. Laundry once a week because there isn’t room for a washer and dryer in our small flat. Dishes done by hand when we get the chance, brain washing us at the same time, “who needs a dishwasher what a waste!” Coffee in the last remaining clean mugs more often than not being the signal that dishes need to be done. Fueling discussions of self sustainability, mission locations, books read and to be read, plans for homeschooling and nostalgic talk of a nomadic future. The scariest sound being that of a waking baby signaling that our daydreams must come to an end because there is a baby who would like to play. Canasta cards rest on the moleskine of game scores just waiting for someone to shuffle them, so that another game to 50,000 can start. Frog and toad, Calvin and Hobbs complete collection, spanish Whinnie-the-Pooh and The Lord of the Ring all tucked strategically under the bed by the shelf on the couch for easy access when anyone in the family needs story time. Monday morning meetings where Malia and I sync our planners and plan dinners together, schedule meetings, plan emails, phone calls and prayer requests. We primarily set those meetings via twitter and often go weeks without talking to anyone in person. Most of our business is conducted via the main computer, skyping people in other countries comparing video chat backdrops, trying to keep Rory quiet so he doesn’t cancel out what they are saying. Over the past 4 months we haven’t met anyone new that is less than a 5 hour flight away from us. Rory prefers people to be on the screen, than in person.

This is our life, it is messy, busy, tiring, dirty, exhausted and wonderful. My wife works two doors down from me, if Rory is asleep we can clean our whole house in about thirty minutes. We are a one car family who has the ability to write a manifest about the things they would like to change. Like no paper in the kitchen, no paper towels, no paper napkins, no paper plates (unless your having pizza, pizza tastes better on paper) 2) compost, 3)always grow something be it spring onions and basil in the window, or tomato plants in the garden by the door, we will always grow something we can eat. We have the ability to buy organic when we can. We buy flour by the 50 lb. sacks because we don’t buy baked goods from the store. We only buy “green” cleaning products even if they are more expensive (baking soda and vinegar do pretty much anything) last night we went out to eat for the first time in six months, because we can make better food at home for a lot less money and we don’t have to wear pants. While Rory often gets up at 5 or 6 or 7 for Malia and I getting up early is getting up before 9, so we are morning people now. We love our life, we know it will only get better from here as we move towards leaving on mission. We don’t have a location as of yet, but whether its in Africa, India, Mexico or Jamaica, whether we find work in a vineyard or in a church, whether we will be poorer then than we are now. 

My uncle once told me “Your going to have a good life, I didn’t say it was always going to be an easy life, but mark you are going to have a good life.” I truly believe that. Our lives are good, they will continue to be good and hopefully someday we will die happy.